Graystork

Courtesy of the Greek, I have been honored with selection to the group of pollsters for this top 25 CFB poll.  I am thrilled by the opportunity to prove that I know as little about who the best 25 teams are as the mavens of the AP, Coaches, Harris Interactive polls, and that stupid computer.

This reminds me of a stock market theory that says the market does what it wants to do, and that a group of dart-throwing monkeys can pick stock winners just as well as some high-powered stock brokers.  What can I say, I was always partial to the winged monkeys in the Wizard of Oz.  So it is my honor to be one of your dart-throwing monkeys this season.  Without further adieu, here are my preseason submissions to the Best Damn Poll in the Land.  Feel free to critcize, laugh, applaud, or respond inappropriately.

1.  Southern Cal   - The Trojans are loaded.  Don't expect another loss to Stanford

2.  Georgia - SEC Champions ride Jersey kid Moreno to the Championship

3.  West Virginia - The whole O line is back plus Pat White.

4.  Ohio State - Twice burnt  by the Buckeyes.  You're working your way up this year.

5.  Missouri -  TIgers turn the tables on the Big 12 South.

6.  Texas - The Longhorns are back. 

7.  Florida - Tebow's better, but not enough to get by Georgia.

8.  Wisconsin - Wiscy's good, but OSU's better still.

9.  Louisiana St. - QB?

10.  Virginia Tech - ACC champs, good D, offense?

11.  Auburn -  The spread takes root in Alabama.

12.  Oklahoma - Sooners lose 2 out of three to Lone Star teams.

13.  Tennessee - Florida, Auburn, and Georgia hand Vols their only losses.

14.  Oregon - Quack Attack!  Ducks come up roses.

15.  Clemson - Lose to Hokies in ACC Championship

16.  Rutgers - My homer pick.  Hey! Fuhgedaboudit!

17.  Penn St. - Joe's last hurrah.

18.  South Florida - Bulls are #3 in Big East,  just barely.

19.  Kansas - Schedule's a lot tougher this year.

20.  Fresno St. - The Bulldogs may have a nasty surprise in store for some BCS teams.

21.  Cincinnati - Strong showing against Sooners gets Bearcats noticed.

22.   Arizona St. - Losses to Georgia, Southern Cal, and Oregon early hurt.

23.  Illinois - The fourth best in the Big 10.

24.  Alabama - Saban hits the turning point.  The Tide is rising.

25.  Pittsburgh - Wannstedt's recruiting finally pays off.  Pitt joins the Big East party. 

After hours of consideration, I have come upon a way to finally give Division I college football the national championship it so rightly deserves.  No more poll and bowl, just a good old fashioned playoff tournament and the last team standing at the end wins.  Now why hasn't this been accomplished yet?  Money, pure and simple.  The Bowls like making it, the conferences like getting it from the bowls, and .     .       .  well you get the idea.  So in order to obtain a true national championship, we have to make it more lucrative than the present bowl system.  My thought is to guarantee some insane amount of money to the winning school  Five billion sounds about right.  Now where does this money come from?  The people who want to see this the most, the fans.  We'll call the championship game the Populist Bowl.  The prize money will be pledged from fans in whatever amount they deem appropriate.  I will purchase the first sponsorship by pledging $5.  With this pledge, I got the right to name the championship.  Now, whoever pledges the most money gets to name it.  If you want to call it the Kiss My *** Rose Bowl, Bowl  it's ok, as long as you pledge the most.  I'm hoping when we hit $1,000,000 or so the big guns like Donald Trump, Warren Buffett, Bill Gates etc. will want to jump in.  (The Apprentice Bowl starring Omarosa, The I'm Now the Richest Guy Bowl, The Microsoft Bowl, formerly the I'm the Richest Guy Bowl.)  Corporate sponsors welcome, regardless of how loathsome your product is.  (The Cigarette Bowl aka the Ashtray).  Legality is not an issue (The Colombian Crack Bowl, The Cripps/Bloods Bowl, The Moonshine Bowl ).  Politicians are welcome to contribute too.  ( The "Hill"-"Billy" Bowl, the McCain/Armed Forces Bowl, The Obama Bowl, as seen on Oprah, The Spitzer/McGrevey Infidelity Bowl sponsored by Trojan).  As this is a private venture, there is no constitutional exclusion of religion, so come on in. (The Bible Bowl, The Torah Bowl, The Koran Bowl, The Dharma Bowl, The Church of What's Happening Now Bowl).  If you want to make a political statement, what better way than to have the D1 National Championship say it for you?  (The I Want Healthcare Bowl, The I Don't Want to Pay for Your Healthcare Bowl, The Build a Big Fence Now Bowl, The Try Mowing Your Own Lawn Bowl, The Gay Marriage Bowl, The Intelligent Design Bowl, The Darwin/Primate Bowl, The Anti-Torture Bowl, The Waterboard All Terrorists Bowl).   Sponsorships are going fast so act now!